I love when Starbucks gets my order wrong. I truly do! I take a sip, and I’m like, “This is so delicious, someone must’ve messed up.” 

You see, some time ago I switched to decaf. 

I know what you’re thinking:

Truth.

I tried the cold-turkey method, and my head felt like a sumo-wrestling buffalo bungee-jumped on top of me.  While wearing a weighted diving suit. After three Thanksgiving meals. 

It went something like this:

Day 1: Two Caffeinated Grandes 

Day 2: One Decaf Grande

Day 3: Brain Splinters/filled out DNR

Needless to say, I learned my lesson.

After I regained consciousness, I tried the incremental method, which worked much better for my addiction:

Day 1: Venti Caffeinated 

Day 2: Grande Caffeinated 

Day 3: Tall Caffeinated 

Day 4: Short Caffeinated (it exists)

Day 5: Short Decaf

Day 6: Death

Just kidding on that last one. 

So, I hear you when you ask, “What about the taste?” Well, yeah it’s not going to be better, but I feel better. 

The reason(s) I switched are due to my fast metabolism. I was not disappointed at the new results – I eat less often and am less shaky between meals. I still pee too much, but that’s from what physicians call a ittybladder. 10 could fit on the head of a pin. (Why are doctors always trying to put things on pinheads?)

Have you switched from caf to decaf?  Post in comments.

Advertisements