*Backstory of a Cheeto that has been on this ledge for weeks.*

Born in 1975 to a family of corn farmers, Meester Cheeto Pants developed wanderlust whilst feeling trapped and lonesome on a 30-acre farm in rural Indiana. Dreams of becoming a cowboy actor led him to drop out of high school and hitchhike to Phoenix, Arizona in the late 80s. When he arrived and couldn’t find sufficient paid work in film, he applied for financial aid at a local college where he studied for his GED exam. 

Cheeto found himself at home in the company of various driven students who made a pact to get their degrees together. This comradery was juxtaposed against the backdrop of loneliness in his early life, though he did eventually come to accept his family’s choices when time and experience afforded him understanding of the difficulties of carving a living where you are within the constraints of your personality and fortitude. 

Meester Pants convinced his widowed mother to join him in the desert state after they lost his father to chew cancer. Even with travel for the funeral and move, he maintained perfect attendance in all his classes. 

Graduating with only minor experience in theatre, Pants left the 1997 Commencement Ceremony with an Associates in Education which he then used to secure employment within the same institution. 

Twenty years later, you can still see Meester Cheeto Pants in every corner of campus, sharing his knowledge of life and his affinity for dramatic interpretations of Sonoran desert style.