Have you ever dreamed about something for so long that it became more fantastic than real? That when you think of it now, you fear it could never be as great as you picture in your mind?

I’m about to get really real “up in here.”

I have a dream that I have cultivated as a hobby. I have kept it in the hobby box mostly to keep my heart safe from disappointment. 

Now, this dream is not a 100% sure “calling” on my life, but it is something I factor and weigh with my other life priorities. It, for instance, falls below my devotion to my husband. It has also fallen below my desires to live near family and away from the city and smog. It has also fallen below other sacrifices I would need to make, like: spending more money for education by tightening the moneybelt and eating ramen seasoning packets for lunch. (Who am I kidding? That’s the best part.)

But I still return to this dream in my mind. Wondering. Considering. Then ruling out again for new justifications like: I don’t have thick enough skin, or I’m too spiritually sensitive, or That job doesn’t have work-life balance, or I’m too far along in my current career. 

The root for me is that I’m afraid of giving up a currently good real life for a chase after that fantastic dream. 

You know, I’ve never been able to relate to people who know the *one* thing that they want to do, set to work on running that path, and never look back. I always kinda thought they were more fortunate than I was. 

But truly I have had an adventurous life thus far, learning and walking different paths, and so what if I have another dream in the back of my mind. 

Keeps life interesting.