Last weekend, I got my 3rd tattoo. What is it, you may ask? It’s a confession of love to my husband. It’s an outward sign of what’s inside. It’s a spit in the face to fear of the future.

My first two tattoos were a confession of faith and devotion to Jesus. This third tattoo is a confession of love to my husband. We have been together 13 years, and married over 11 of those years. I am still surprised by his kindness to me. His love shows my the face of Jesus. It’s a constant tangible example of what I learn in the Bible and through encounters with God in other times of my life: God’s love and grace are unending.

Inside, we humans struggle in a battlefield of thoughts and feelings. No one is perfect (but Jesus). But it’s the struggle that tells us who we are. Like we all learned from that show “7th Heaven,” if we didn’t want good to win out over evil, there would be no struggle. Wait, what? You didn’t grow up watching 7th Heaven? We have thoughts and feelings we fight in order to experience something better. And it’s this journey of belief and trust that we’re on. We have seen more poor examples of relationships than positive ones, so we fight to have faith as we leave the shallow pools and go deeper into discovering the depths of our personal icebergs.

“Faith is being sure of what we hope for. It is being certain of what we do not see.”

-Hebrews 11:1

Many of you know that my father died when I was 5-years-old. My pain from that experience is on-going, but watching my Mom go through that as a woman in love was terrifying. Even though I’ve watched as the blossom of second-chances has grown into a garden, much of my world, walls, rules, and thought-patterns have an origin story related to that event. A big part of my analytical mind is the trumping thought that nothing (but God) is permanent. There is a possibility of losing the most important people in our life earlier than the pending eventuality. This tattoo spits in the face of that fear by saying, I want to permanently affix a symbol of my devotion to my skin for this life regardless of what may come.

So, to most, it will look like a minimalist millennium falcon with a B on it (which it is), but to me, it’s so much more. ❤️

Thanks to Joel at Salt & Light Tattoo, Chandler, Arizona.