*Backstory of a Red Vine that has been on this plant for days.*

The body of celebrity pediatrician Melissa Roger Redvine, PhD, a.k.a. “Dr. Rogy” was found Tuesday morning impelled on a plant. No witnesses have come forward, and the investigation is ongoing. Authorities have not ruled out an accident, though friends and family previously reported the distinguished medical practitioner being in an agitated state after an unknown male bit her head off in public.

Evidence nearby suggests she was visiting a theater immediately before this tragic incident that ultimately plucked her from this life.

The doctor was not unfamiliar with scandal. This publication ran a three-page story last winter covering reports that she was encouraging her patients to purchase more junk-food in general and candy in particular.

Melissa Redvine was divorcee to famous black licorice lobbyist, Wilomena Hutchu. They had a single child together and both said one was, “Good and plenty.” The child, Luke Redvine, was located rolling around in the rear of an otherwise empty cardboard box behind the local Walgreens, but he declined to comment. Luke was ruled out as a person of interest when testing showed a 0.1% blood/soda level.

Dr. Redvine left a bucket of her estate to local church youth groups and middle school offices where she was most beloved.