1. You don’t know what a Tesla is.
2. You think Elon Musk is a fragrance for men.
3. You think “Ludicrous mode” really is ludicrous.
4. You haven’t Googled answers to all your questions, like: “Are there enough charging stations between me and Krispy Kreme?” Or “Does charging smell better than gas fumes?” Or “Can I sell my left nut to pay for the fully autonomous option?”
5. You have zero dollars, no insurance, and only career ambition is to populate Mars… and not as a scientist.
6. You have enough free time to think of funnier lists than this one.
7. You are completely satisfied with the way our planet is going energy-wise.
8. You are 14 feet 13 inches tall and cannot bend your knees or elbows.
9. You are married to the idea of having a phone and separate car keys, cause you like fumbling with multiple things and seeing how many times you have to replace your phone screen in a given year.
10. You still don’t know what a Tesla is.